dis morn we combined w tamp sec badminton to haf friendly w nanyang high gals..
i lost my games..
i dunno wat's going on w me but i was quite nervous b4 e match. coz u r playing w sec sch..
throughout e game whenever i lose pt i'll be fed up. angry w myself..
it's a kind of mental pressure coz u noe u r playing w sec sch..
though u noe even if they r beta den u but it's juz some kind of psychological barrier in me..
i dunno whether others feel e same as me..
last tm whenever i lost my games or watever i'd definitely feel bad or cried..
but dunno y today i felt exceptionally sad n disappointed w myself..
i nv feel so bad b4 when i lost my games..
especially when e opponents u lost to r looking at u play n lose..
suddenly i feel out of place. like i'm so lousy..
felt like crying juz nw but i noe crying doesn't help n i shd not be crying anymore during tournaments. dis shows tt i'm weak..

i noe my coach is disappointed i think..
n he told me he'll train me..
training would be v tough for me from nw on..
i noe where r my weaknesses but i always hide them..
i dun dare to face it. like a psychological barrier. like ostriach(dunno hw to spell)..
i noe i muz face failures n train harder..
i will. i'll try..

today was supposed to either go watch movie w my badminton teammates or aaron..
but coz my badminton friends want to go far east n i dun haf e mood to go so far so planned to go w aaron..
already setter e time n watever. in e end last min he cnt..
haix. nvm. i dun feel like going anw..


juz trying to test out if i can upload my pics..
hw come dis pic can but e 1 on tue cannot!
other pics got virus isit?!
fine forget it. i juz simplay cnt load e pics..

Trying hard to reach you, but i can't..