trainings were n are tiring..
dying soon..

lost my motivation n drive to fight on..
steal my confidence(if i ever had) away from me..
y do u have to appear anytime but now?
wth..
didn't noe a small u can make such a diff in my life..
im trying damn hard. u dunno tt..
say that im not worried its a big lie..
i noe wats not urs will not be urs..
but i still wan to fight on..
i dun wan to give up..
i can't say its my life..
but its difinitely a big part of my life..
without it. i woudn't be who i am today..
yes im still holding on..
rather be gladful in e end that i noe i tried my best..
den regret it forever..
hold on w me?

im happy yet not rly happy..
im sad yet not rly sad..
maybe in e past i would be damn sad..
but now i dun rly care..
its all numb to me now..
dunno wats happiness..
it nv appears in my dictionary..
no one knows wats going thru my mind..
no one knows wat i rly wan..
a simple wish yet hard to get..