As the day draws nearer to last day of uni life,
stress, fear, restless, lethargic just crepts in.
I hate job searching. Who likes job searching anyway.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I know I need to be more enthusiastic in finding one,
but the momentum is like a rollar coaster ride.
Every now and then, I feel panic that shit, I haven't apply for any jobs.
Then I tell myself, "hey, u gotta do more than what you're doing now!"
Then when I use the com to look at those job search portals and thinking of applying a particular position, fear crept in again.
"Do I have what it takes to succeed in this position?"
"These jobs don't seem to be what I think I would like to do."
"What IF they ask me down for interview? I havent read up on the company and my exams are coming I wanna study!"
Etc..
I'll just start to think alot and then I'll hesitate and say ok I wait for a few days and never apply for it.
And awhile later, I'll start to panic again and shit I'm still not applying and I needa really
do it and not think so much.
The whole cycle just repeats itself again and again.
Tell me I'm not the only one feeling this way.
I feel ridiculous sometimes.
I feel desperate but I don't act like I am.
And to be honest, there don't seem to be many jobs that my lousy results can land me.
My course in my opinion, is a professional degree that can land you in good jobs like commercial banks, private companies, doing all sorts of analysis for them.
But I've got no interest and passion at all to work in finance.
To be honest, my mind gets switched off with interest rate exchange rate and blah..
Yah I major in economics I know.
And the most important thing is, I have a damn shitty results.
To work in these banks or government dept or related institutions,
you need really good grades.
Good grades not enough, you still need to compete among the top.

So what else can I do?
Then I move on to sales/marketing and it dawns on me to do alot of sales because I've been there and I know the stress.
Okok I should stop complaining if not the list will go nowhere.
And perhaps it is very embarrassing cause many people and actively searching for one and not complaining but here I am acting like a small kid.
=(