Trying hard to reach you, but I can't..

2012-02-03T15:58:00.000+08:00

It has been a stressful and upsetting week at work.
Nothing seems to go right, everything I do seems to get reprimanded.
Sometimes I wonder, if I have the ability to work.
I know what weng wrong, it's not my ability, it's my personality.

"做人不要太好" is something I'm learning to change
I'm not trying to say I'm very nice, it's just that I'm not pushy enough.
TBH, I'm scared to ask people to do things for me or ask them questions, scared I'm disturbing them.
And that is why my projects are stalling.
I know this is not the way but I need time to change.
And perhaps I'm a too "chin4 cai4" person - my expectation is not high enough.
I hafta raise my bar.
haix.. freaking stress-up.
Everytime when my boss asks me to meet him, I'm damn scared.
I know i'm gonna get scolded.
Even if I think my work is fine, I still think I'm gonna get scolded.
Somebody teach me how...

2012-01-20T17:49:00.000+08:00

Teddy Bear Museum

Sunrise Peak. The climb up there was so torturous

Supposed to see sunrise, but halfway up, the sun has already risen.... -_-!!

Jusangjeolli Cliff

2012-01-20T17:04:00.000+08:00

After 12hrs of flight on budget airline, finally found our way to December Goodstay Hotel in Jeju.

Our fave room. Looks old from the outside but inside is so worth the money.

Yongduam Rock. i think

Koreans selling some food at the rock

Love Land! Everywhere is sculptures of different sex position

Add caption

Our all time fave eggroll!

All korean restaurants serve side dishes. But most of them we don't dare to eat haha

2011-12-30T09:29:00.000+08:00

Back from my 12 days of holiday in Korea which means back to reality.
It had been a fun trip and I enjoyed myself.
Everything was fine until just mins before boarding the plane,
I tripped and fell on the travelator in the airport while running to catch the plane.
And got quite a bad cut on my knee.
And probably ran too much and disgusted by my wound, I puked and blackout on the plane.
What an ending to my holiday...
Maybe I'll upload some photos when I got them. =)

On Tuesday, my grandma passed away when I was still in Korea.
I went to the wake straight after I alighted last evening.
Am pretty upset but I guess this is life.
I just wanna thank my ahma for being such a wonderful ahma to me,
and apologize for not doing much for you when you were around.
R.I.P ahma.

2011-12-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

wow its been a long time since i last posted an entryok so holiday now. no more exams (hopefully)
applying for jobs, but because of my korea trip,
i'm missing 2 interview chances.
very disappointed but well, there's nothing i could do about it too.
hopefully, i can be offered a not bad salary package tomorrow and i would accept the job offer.
no matter what, the most important thing is to work hard, to do my best.
ok this post is really random and meaningless.

2011-11-09T20:00:00.002+08:00

Please don't let me fall sick.
I need to study!! =(

2011-11-03T11:04:00.000+08:00

As the day draws nearer to last day of uni life,
stress, fear, restless, lethargic just crepts in.
I hate job searching. Who likes job searching anyway.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I know I need to be more enthusiastic in finding one,
but the momentum is like a rollar coaster ride.
Every now and then, I feel panic that shit, I haven't apply for any jobs.
Then I tell myself, "hey, u gotta do more than what you're doing now!"
Then when I use the com to look at those job search portals and thinking of applying a particular position, fear crept in again.
"Do I have what it takes to succeed in this position?"
"These jobs don't seem to be what I think I would like to do."
"What IF they ask me down for interview? I havent read up on the company and my exams are coming I wanna study!"
Etc..
I'll just start to think alot and then I'll hesitate and say ok I wait for a few days and never apply for it.
And awhile later, I'll start to panic again and shit I'm still not applying and I needa really
do it and not think so much.
The whole cycle just repeats itself again and again.
Tell me I'm not the only one feeling this way.
I feel ridiculous sometimes.
I feel desperate but I don't act like I am.
And to be honest, there don't seem to be many jobs that my lousy results can land me.
My course in my opinion, is a professional degree that can land you in good jobs like commercial banks, private companies, doing all sorts of analysis for them.
But I've got no interest and passion at all to work in finance.
To be honest, my mind gets switched off with interest rate exchange rate and blah..
Yah I major in economics I know.
And the most important thing is, I have a damn shitty results.
To work in these banks or government dept or related institutions,
you need really good grades.
Good grades not enough, you still need to compete among the top.

So what else can I do?
Then I move on to sales/marketing and it dawns on me to do alot of sales because I've been there and I know the stress.
Okok I should stop complaining if not the list will go nowhere.
And perhaps it is very embarrassing cause many people and actively searching for one and not complaining but here I am acting like a small kid.
=(

2011-10-24T20:21:00.001+08:00

getting sick and tired of all these..

2011-10-18T18:01:00.000+08:00

f*** la. i only got 60/100 for a 20% midterm when there're many who got full marks.
only 25% got less than 75.
seriously what the fish. i hate myself.
i really blame myself hate myself for this shitty results.
KNS

2011-09-16T22:32:00.000+08:00

i am seriously thinking of a career path in SPF.but really don't know if this is the right choice for me when i'm more concern with career advancement.
no matter what, i will still apply.
maybe i should start "fan-ing" when i really get the chance.

start of a hectic 2 months ahead with midterms and finals soon after.
O.M.G

2011-09-13T23:04:00.001+08:00

FM11 is ruining my life.
I need to stop playing..

2011-08-31T19:50:00.000+08:00

Money can't buy you many things yes I know,
but with no money, I can't do many things that I want!
In no order:

1) Go on a nice and not so so budget holiday trip every year.
2) Learn driving. I really really wanna learn it but I won't have much left.
3) Get better treatment for my hair.
4) Let my parents enjoy life.
5) Start my own business.

So money money drop down please. =)

Ok that's all for now. Yea such loser.. ._.

2011-08-16T12:32:00.001+08:00

Even though he made 2 nervous debuts the past 2 weeks, I still have faith in his future.He is only 20 years old, without the command of english, and he is playing for the world's biggest club,
Manchester United.
Come on De Gea! You can be as good as you are in my FM11!

Ps. Aint he gorgeous looking? ._.

2011-08-16T12:30:00.002+08:00

David De Gea

2011-08-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

Today is the start of a new semester and the last semester for me.
(actually mon supposed to be the first day but I didn't go. :S)
Yep. Mixed feeling for me.
A part of me don't want school to start so fast cause I just ended my intern only,
yet another side of me wish that this ain't the last semester.
I still want to study and remain a student.
I know this is selfish thinking but I can't imagine I'm no longer a student soon!
And I totally regret that I enjoy studying too late.
No more chance for me to work hard anymore.. :/

Well this semester gonna be the toughest of all.
4 mods, of which 3 are highest level mods, level 4.
The other one not much diff, level 3.
I've never taken a level 4 econs before and honestly I'm real scared.
I know where my econs foundations are. I know my limit!
Aiya I'm just gonna whack already!

Life is short and so unpredictable.
There're so many things that I would like to do but i just lack the courage.
And one of them is to do business.
I've so many concerns that they're stopping me from achieving my goals.
Failure, debt, opportunity costs, etc...
I wonder when will I take the first step out of my comfort zone.

I wonder when will I ever take the first step out of my comfort zone.

2011-07-22T13:55:00.000+08:00

If possible, as long as you know what you're doing, live the kind of life you want and don't bother about how others think.
因为太在意别人的眼光是件很痛苦的事.
But how many people actually don't mind? really.

2011-07-11T18:53:00.000+08:00

Office job is so not for me.
Sat infront of my com for the whole of today doing research and I buay tahan alrdy.
I need to run about or walk around.
I can't sit down and do mundane job.
And work starts at 9am, I hafta be out of the house latest 7.10am to guarantee that I won't be late. :/

Oh today is Ashley and Icy "one month old birthday" since the day I had them.
Ashley is freaking fat until I can see him dragging his feet to run. -.-
While Icy seems to become skinnier or no difference since I first saw her.
Ashley la always snatch for the food first.
Poor Icy.. And Ashley is a lazy boy.
Whenever I leave them in their respective exercise balls,
Ashley always hides in his favorite corner.
But poor Ashley now is forced to run more often and eat less!!

Hasn't been in the best of mood recently, whether in any aspects of life.
Honestly I don't ask for much, why is it so difficult?

2011-06-27T08:10:00.000+08:00

"Just ended my visit to Universal Studios in Singapore and was really fun"
- Nani's tweet

Omg. Nani was here in Singapore!
Fish why wasn't I at Universal Studio ytd.
I'm not a fan of Nani and in fact I don't really like him,
but it'll be so cool if I can see a ManUtd player!
Ok but I think I most probably would not recognize
him even if he's standing beside me. -.-

2011-06-18T15:26:00.001+08:00

Working at tamp mall popular is freaking boring.
I'm wasting my precious time away, doing nothing here.
Haix.. Tell me what can I do?

2011-06-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

haiya so troublesome. don't know how to type normally after adding captions, hafta write a new post..
i was saying, i'm still not familiar with hamsters, still trying to learn to catch them.
i dare to hold them in my hands, but i've to scoop them up, cause i dun dare to catch them.
anw, their breed is Pearl Winter White.
Ashley is the one with darker black stripe on his back,
while Icy has somewhat fainter black stripe.
Ashley is fiercer and kinda lazy at the beginning, didnt want to exercise,
but Icy runs non stop on the wheel.
but after "forcing" Ashley to run, he ran!
alright, i need to observe them longer before i talk about them again. =)

2011-06-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

my hamsters!! just bought them yesterday 11th June 2011.
they're 6 weeks old already!
yea i know some people think i so old liao still play hamsters,
but! i think they're so cute! =)

this is Ashley! it's a HE.

and meet Icy! it's a SHE.

sooo cute!!

paiseh.. babybird wanna take photo too! ;)

2011-06-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

Life is like that.
You do not always get recognize for your effort.
So you can only console yourself, and do your own part.
This is life, sadly.

2011-05-31T20:33:00.000+08:00

It's e 9th consecutive day that I'm working ever since internship started.
From morning either 9, 10 or 11am to 10pm at night.
Tml is my only rest day and gotta continue for another 4 full days after that.
This is draining me physically and emotionally.
My sales thus far have not been up to expectation,
so everyday has been a dread to me.
I feel stressed up, at e same time thinking if sales is e line I wanna work in future.
And my conclusion is perhaps not, given my character.
I might be more suitable for backstage crew.
Okok enough of all these.
Counting down to 10pm..

2011-05-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

My legs really breaking soon..
Consecutive 10days of standing for 12hrs..

2011-05-25T20:55:00.000+08:00

if only someone can give me a full body massage..my whole body is breaking soon..
have been hard labour for the past 3 days, stock taking, moving how many many heavy boxes,
up and down, with or without the ladder..
my muscles are growing. believe me..

2011-05-23T20:18:00.000+08:00

Why can't I even do a simple stock-taking task?
It's only first day of work and I made simple mistakes liddat.
I swear I was dead tired today, bcos stayed up to watch match and stuff,
and that's my bad.
And moving omega heavy boxes up and down for 4-5hrs really drained me.
Although I wasn't reprimanded, nor did it seem like my fault,
I still feel really bad and wished it didn't happen.
Come on yx! You needa buck up more!

2011-05-20T15:42:00.000+08:00

why must the 9pm show be so sad..at first, i found this show kinda boring, but it's getting better and better.
pierre png and rui en, so sad...

2011-05-19T14:55:00.000+08:00

guess what guess what.

it's holiday time!! =D

been waiting for 18th May for e longest time, mainly because of Football Manager 11!

got the game as present ytd. been waiting for it for the longest time!

you cant tell how happy i was when i saw the present hidden behind the curtain.

thank you very much!!

and to express how excited i was, i spent 8 hours playing from 9.30pm to 5.30am last night.

weeks before exams, i've been excited about it, thinking how to manage my Manutd.

woohoo!! =D

ok but good times don't last long.

intern starting next week and its gonna be a busy first 3 weeks, with 2 concurrent fairs running.

meaning i would not have much time playing.. :/

and beanstalk and stuff. oh my suddenly got lots of things to settle.

i just cant get started with any of them..

okok just let me play wholeheartedly until this sun k? hehe.

2011-04-10T14:57:00.003+08:00

woohooo! i finally got my laptop back!

all thanks to aaron, who fixed it for me.

save me alot alot of money to get it repair or even a new laptop.

we almost thought it was beyond hope..

thanks aaron! =)

i was thinking to myself the other day,

when my internship starts at the end of May,

i'd probably be having 4 jobs in my hand:

1) Intership at Wink to Learn Pte Ltd

2) Beanstalk-Creation (www.beanstalk-creation.com) lol!

3) Tuition

4) Assignments based job for Eric Feng

(the 4th one i actually started not long ago, have done 3 assignments for him.

it's like 1 assignment every 2, 3 weeks, ranging from doing interview transcript to data entry.

then i get paid by hour, depending on the amount of time i spend to do them.

i swear i didnt cheat the number of hours i took. lol)

so ya.. without the internship, i'm already holding 3 jobs now.

kinda straining at times, considering my exams are coming.

tuiton not time-consuming actually, but the other 2 are..

especially my first assignment for Eric was to key in details of 600 over namecard into Excel,

took me a whole lot of 21 hours....

as for Beanstalk, i really hope to do something good out of it.

it's really a good learning oppotunity for me, to put what i've learned into skill,

and learn what i never knew.

as for now, earning money is not my main objective,

i just hope to let more people know about us.

i hope i will be able to juggle well between intern and beanstalk during the break.

it's not going to be easy, but i will try. =)

2011-03-27T20:48:00.003+08:00

http://www.beanstalk-creation.com/ a big step i'm taking in my life. feel free to contact me if you're interested or have any enquiry! =) capcap_16@hotmail.com

2011-03-22T14:40:00.002+08:00

somethings i can understand,
but there're some that i just couldn't understand.
pardon me for my childish-ness or lack of maturity level,
as much as i would like to show some support,
i just couldn't pass that stage of mine..

more chances of these to come, i just hafta accept and get used to it..

2011-03-19T22:18:00.002+08:00

ggggggggggg.... recess week is coming to an end..
not done much on studying, which is quite a disappointment again..
and what have i been busying for the whole recess week?
keying in all the details of around 600 namecards into an excel spreadsheet..
took me like 21 hours until i wanna puke....
i hope im not underpaid by too much..

played ovenight mj with half the clique and kaiee last night.
havent played mj with the clique for like the longest time,
and i relish those moments with lots of laughter.
so freaking tired, and i pity those who still had to go for tution or course the following morning.
more mj sessions in future please! =)

2011-02-24T16:58:00.002+08:00

featuring my cutest and best boy i ever have.
BabyBird!!

(i have the grown up version of him too, but he is cuter of course!)

he is around 4 months old now.
not growing any taller or fatter, but dirtier yes,
and cuter as the day passes of course.
really really love him alot alot.
i talk to him like everyday. ya TALK
whenever im bored or tired, just seeing him brightens up my day immediately.
i like to "disturb" him verbally, force his lips open so that he looks like he's smiling at me,
and comb his 3 strands of hair with my hands.
i love him soooooooooooooo much that sometimes i wish he'd respond to me.
actually sometimes i thought he is listening to me know.
-________-!! ok i know peopler might think im insane but can't help it,
he's just to cute for me to resist!
sometimes when he's not with me, the thought of able to see him soon makes me happy.
i take photos of him and his "friends" every other day,
i dont even have so many photos of myself haha.

alright shall introduce his friends next time. =)

2011-02-24T16:50:00.002+08:00

to my dearest lifelong online partner:

oei handsome. (=X)
sorry again that i couldn't send u off tml,
though i would really really want to. =(
haix.. this time round u're going away for so long,
so gonna miss talking to u.
whatever nonsense and secrets.. lol.
whatever it is, you can still tell me ur troubles online k!
alright this time round i'll try to skype at least once.................. -_________________-
take care, study hard and play hard!
c ya in 10 months time lo! =)

2011-02-19T21:53:00.002+08:00

couldn't bear to read on..
dont want to know so much..
even though i couldn't play dumb to myself anymore..

2011-02-19T19:44:00.002+08:00

why and what's wrong?
what i want is just something simple and sweet,
and any unhappiness we could just talk it out.
just when i thought the bad times are over,
why cant we meet a compromise?
where have all the happy times gone?
babybird, mebear and tweety all very upset now....

2011-02-18T11:45:00.002+08:00

think my blog gonna close down soon..
my last post was before school started and now already end of week 4..
as promise to myself, i am working harder this sem than the previous sem,
however not for all modules.
i will try to catch up though!

quite abit of unhappy things happening for the past couple of weeks,
but i hope everything will be fine from now onwards. =)

and guess what? 4 friends will be away on my bday..... =(
like jel, ys, cal, and mzqr...
those whom i hope to gather with on my bday.. =(

just sent cal off and jel is flying next fri..
it'd be a long time before i see you! =(

2011-01-23T21:46:00.003+08:00

school's starting tml. like 8.30am.. -.-''
but cant wait to start school and study..
i hope this sense of urgency and regret for my results stay with me for as long as possible..

ps: hey jel! share your volka this coming fri leh. haha. =p

2011-01-21T23:56:00.002+08:00

just came back from genting..
and guess what?
i received a "fantastic" present just before departing on 18th morning..
results came out at exactly 12am on the 18th,
and i got my worst sem results thus far...
like omega lousy like below 3 that kind...
so my overall dropped to another class when i hao bu rong yi pulled it up....
really have got no one to blame for my bad bad results..
i kinda expected it but was hoping for a miracle
this time i learn not to be complacent anymore
previously for the past 3 sems, i managed to "heng heng" passed through
the sems with "okok" results even though i never worked hard enough..
see la.. Not Everyday Sunday....

school's starting in 2 days time..
i wanna study.

2011-01-11T02:26:00.000+08:00

i dunno what to say.
im just so freaking pissed off now.

2010-12-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

come on. 2 more papers, 5 more days to go..
hate how i screwed my studies up again.

for the first time this sem, im staying in hall alone tonight.
so so soo dont like this feeling..
so it feels like this without you around..

2010-12-05T20:37:00.003+08:00

one more week to dooms day...

and 2.5 more weeks to freedom from school work...

i cant freaking wait!!

omg save me.. im screwed.... =S

Miley Cyrus Medley by Christina Grimmie.. Bravo..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUBrA_cD_Io

15 more days to the special day..

we've come this far.. =)

and my cutest and baobei Baby Bird!! =D

2010-11-21T04:29:00.002+08:00

if only i could remove the pain for you.. =(

2010-11-18T14:47:00.001+08:00

disastrous results one after another, one worse than the other..
all but too late now..
it's a wake up call for me..

2010-11-13T15:18:00.002+08:00

突然怕了..
perhaps because of complacency, because i did fairly good for last sem's midterms, despite
the fact that i didn't put in enough effort, i thought luck would be on my side this time.
got back the result for one of the midterms yesterday,
i got 40/100..
which is only half of the cohort's average....
i know i didn't know how to do the questions,
but i thought many people complained that they didn't know how to do too.
yet i still got only half of what they got.....
what shocked me wasn't my marks, but the super uber big difference to the average.
haix..
now i seriously don't wish to get back any of the remainings.
consequences of slacking too much..

2010-11-08T22:52:00.002+08:00

finally all my midterms are over!
just one more small quiz to go before finals. =)

i have a new Tweety bird soft toy.
the mini mini version of the omega BIG Tweety i had on my birthday.
so so so happy! but in less than a day, one of it's legs "broke"............
not totally broken, like half-broken, but i can already see the cotton inside.... =(

Do you know how it feels to know that you can never hold on to something precious to you forever?
No matter how much how much you want it, you know it doesn't belong to you.

it's heartbreaking..

2010-11-01T18:18:00.003+08:00

4 midterms and 2 quizzes after recess week,
2 midterms down.. and screwed..
and 2 more tomorrow.
worse is the 2 tomorrom im totally not prepared at all. freak.
stressssssssssssssssssssssss. =S

2010-10-21T16:06:00.003+08:00

it's already THURSDAY of recess week!!

and i swear i've been slacking and slacking..

then it'll be 5 midterms after recess week. tsk..

so on sat, finally met up with mzqr in the day.

it's been long since i last talked to her.

and then went to yee yan's 21st birthday party at Changi Airport's Crowne Plaza Hotel.

luckily my puzzle reached her safely, if not i'd have wasted 2hrs doing the card.

mon was Uni gang's outing day.

still remember the last outing was like in June or July.

i like going out with them, though i see them almost everyday in school,

it feels different.

school, everyone rushes to go for lessons, rushes to eat during the short breaks,

and are stress over by school work.

one day out is good.

so we went for our usual leisure activity - K at Teoheng.

haha, forever going K during our outings.

and then dinner at some Korean Buffet Restaurant(authentic) at mm Bugis,

(besides Ah Qiu Dessert Stall)

surprisingly, i like the food!

i dont often eat korean food, except for those available in canteens or maybe Kopitiam,

and so i wasn't very excited about it.

dont know isit because we bbq-ed the meat nice or they're just very well marinated,

wao, just nice for my weak teeth! not too tough!

haha. i cant chew off meat that are too tough, that's why i'd prefer vege to meat.

and all the alacart, i like. =)

dont mind going there again.

and then on tues, i finally cooked my first Rib-eye steak.

but i guess it wasn't really a success, someone didn't finish it.. =X

it doesn't taste awful know, just too tough and alittle blend.

i thought i added alot of seasonings already..

tsk. i will do it better the next time round.

and then Kuishinbo with Kaiee on Wed.

woohoo finally had Kuishinbo again, still remember the last time was on my birthday last year.

okok, time to start some serious mugging.

i'm only left with 3.5 days!! =S

cherishing what i have now is the best gift i can give.

2010-10-17T02:29:00.002+08:00

I'm sitting wondering what she's thinking
Nobody's talking cause talking just turns into screaming
And now it's I'm yelling over her, she's yelling over me
All that that means is neither of us is listening

And what's even worse?
That we don't remember why we're fighting
So both of us are mad for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothing, crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, sometimes I know it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And i don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me

And it gets me upset
Girl when you're constantly accusing
Asking questions like you already know
We're fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
This aint the way that love is supposed to go

Whao, what happened to working it out?
We've fall into this place
Where you aint backing down and i aint backing back
So what the hell do we do now?

It's all for

Nothing.

Mad - Neyo

2010-10-14T19:48:00.002+08:00

just when can i be done over with sickness?
have been sick for 3 bloody weeks.................
it was just very very bad cough for a whole week,
and thought i was better after finishing the medication.
then, couldn't resist the temptation of foooooooood other than ban mian,
i started having cough again the second week.
actually it was just waffle leh, like plain waffle.
went to the doc again, one week already, cough's not any better,
but my throat uber painful..
and got the pre-fever feeling now..
this time, i never eat unhealthy food huh, but still..
tsk! there's a birthday party this sat,
and like outings next week which is recess week.
i wanna EAT!! i haven't drank cold drinks for 3 weeks!!
or fried food for 3 weeks!! arghhhhhh..
weak like shit.. =X

101010, the day i received the best surprise i ever have thus far.
totally caught me surprised.
fortunate, lucky, and happy,
are the feelings im feeling right now. =)

2010-10-11T04:55:00.002+08:00

not very sure of what im feeling now.
say very sad? no..
cause i've already knew what was "worse" to me.
say angry? no..
cause i understand that it was all in the past.
maybe just disturbed..
by one paragraph in particular.
i've chosen to read them myself, no one to blame.
but still again, Ignorance is Bliss.

2010-10-09T21:06:00.002+08:00

finally found out something which i've been wanting to know,
and searching for months.
not 100% sure, but at least im 95% confirm,
for one's habits and favourites wouldn't change.
dont know what im feeling now.
am in shock, and not a single bit happy to know.
the stories, that photo....
and those crude images i imagining to myself,
get even more clearer now.
they just keep coming back to me every single day....
somethings are best that you dont know them,
cause Ignorance is Bliss.

2010-10-09T17:01:00.002+08:00

cant wait for recess week to come,
so that i could "catch up" with my school work.
HOPEFULLY! (cross-fingers)
hao bu rong yi started studying lecture one of a maths module last week
felt so accomplished. lol.. -_____________-
there are quite a few modules that i still haven't started a thing
and now i realise my words have no credibility anymore
nobody believes me when i said things like
"im going to start studying from now on",
"i will go for lectues", and
"im so going to study my ftt this time and learn driving"....
so hurt......... =/

been having a bad cough for two weeks..
was recovering, but couldnt resist temptation to food,
and it came back again.... zzz
when can i have my Kuishinbo Buffet!!

so happy that jel is coming back in November.
like really really happy, gal. =)

im cash-strapped now..
i need money to grow.....

2010-09-29T22:46:00.002+08:00

now i know how bored it is to have no com to use in hall...... =S
my luck has not improved since the "bag stolen" incident,
my laptop harddrive crashed.
dont know wth is that..
now that my mp3 is gone too, i have Zero entertainment in hall when im alone.
OMEGA BORING.
somebody save me pleasssssssssseeeee....

2010-09-21T19:47:00.004+08:00

freaking sianx now.
a series of unfortunate events happened over the past short week.
first on tues, my grandpa passed away.
and so i was at the wake for 6 days.
quite an emotional week.. =(

then was supposed to rush a present by wed this week,
so unfortunately, my laptop crashed.
dont know wth happened to it, but i just cant use the internet,
cant do this cant do that. ok nvm.
yesterday was supposed to be a day for celebration.
already planned to have dinner at kushinbo, but just before that,
we went to the arcade at Jurong Point.
guess what?
my whole bag kena STOLEN!!
damn it!
my wallet, handphone, mp3, pencil case, my fave set of new clothes i bought from taiwan,
whch means to say, my IC, ATM Card, NTU Student Card, Hall Key, Ez-link Card and some
cash all kena stolen.
just what the fish la..
kaiee and i actually noticed a group of youngsters looking at us suspiciously,
while we were playing Basketball, but never bothered much.
then we decided to play Daytona before we leave.
my friend sat on my right, and our bags on the floor on her right.
while playing, i noticed a guy standing behind kaiee for quite some time,
im quite sure he is one of them, but i didnt turn back to look at him directly,
and just continued to play.
then i could feel that he walked away after awhile
then after playing, kaiee realised that my bag wasnt there anymore.
the cashier looked at the cctv, but could only capture his head.
then after which i went to make a police report.
haix..
my wallet, hp and beloved mp3 which i carried it around for 2.5 years liao
feeling so lost and empty now...
no phone, no money, no songs..
and so many things to be done, so troublesome..
apologies if i didnt reply ur sms..
an unluncky week. =(

cherish the people around you, before they are gone.

2010-09-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

second week of school, and i have already skipped 3 lectures. =X
nothing interesting about school for me to talk about, except one thing.
i went to catch 神木与瞳's mini campus concert at NTU last thurs!
omg. they are damn freaking cool and great.
their singing, needless to say.
many people think that the guy's not handsome at all,
but i think his talents complement whatever shortcomings he has
and the gal, so envy and admire her strong and solid vocal.
plus they sang 6 songs, more than i expected,
totally worth my time queueing up.
quite in love with them now. =)

i just dropped a module yesterday.
my original timetable was to take 6 modules this sem.
after gauging my ability and the difficulties of other modules,
i've decided to drop an econs prescribed which im not very confident of.
whats more, im only left with about 8 modules for my remaining sems in NTU.
so even if i am to graduate in 3.5 years instead of 4,
i can still just take 4 modules each, so no hurry to clear it now.

totally not in the studying mood at all.
the holiday is too freaking long that whatever motivation i had,
just disappears the moment school started. lol.. -_-!!
i wake up every morning, wishing that it is still holiday.
weekends are so precious now, and they are over before you know.
just a good news for myself, im staying hall again.
single room somemore. =D

alright, guess it's time to get back to studying mood..
not many years left for you to study yx!

81 days, and im still happy. =)

2010-08-28T16:45:00.011+08:00

Day 5 was nothing much cause kaiee was sick

so teng lee and wan xin went off to Taipei Zoo,

while i stayed behind to look after her.

kinda glad that i didnt go to the zoo, for the weather was freaking hot lol..

but the four of us went to Party World after that in the night,

and the place was so cool!

price cheaper than Kbox, yet everything is way much better than Kbox,

there's even a toilet in each room. so clean somemore =)

then Day 6, last day at Taipei, we went to 六福村 theme park.

the rides though aint very very exciting, but pretty fun,

at least more challenging than the ones at hk Ocean Park

this pirate ship is by far, the scariest pirate ship i've ever taken

personally, i used to think pirate ship aiya not scary one.

but this managed to scare me quite abit lol..

it went up to a height so much higher than the pirate ships i've seen before

so fun that me and kaiee took it twice

both teng and wx are afraid of pirate ships.

and for most of the rides, the both of them didnt take them =X

our only regret is unable to take this ride..

look at this tall structure, there's another one which i dont have the photo

the other tall structure has curves, unlike this straight track

pratically its like rollar coaster, but 360 degrees and you'll get inverted.

the 2 tall structures are linked underground, so as you are underground,

you are inverted.

then it will shoot up this tall structure at uber high speed, and you facing up to the sky.

and when it comes down, you are facing down 90 degrees

can you imagine that?

you have to see it yourself to feel the fear.

the structure was shaking when the rollar coaster went through it. omg..

honestly i was pretty afraid of this, afraid of puking,

and felt pretty relieved that it rained heavily. LOL..

but a pity too though..

if given another chance, i'd go up this time =)

then it was 麻辣火锅 at 飞天 for dinner

my cousin told me that you cant miss their spicy steamboat and K session at Taiwan

so yeah! we tried both! =D

ok look at the spicy soup, omg, freaking spicy!

i tried one mouth only and couldnt take it, and so nobody took that soup. lol..

we washed the food with clear soup, but you can still taste the spicyness..

omega spicy..

but overall, i like this steamboat.

the price is reasonable, similar to the usual steamboat in Singapore,

but the condition of the restaurant is so so so much better than here

the place is very clean, air conditioned, wide variety of food,

even oysters and crabs, fresh fruits and cakes and desserts,

and can you believe it? free flow of hagen dasz ice cream!

though the ice creams were hard like rock, aiya for the price you are paying for,

too good to complain la. hahaha..

yummy!! =D

and it was Day 7, the day we left Taipei for Kaohsiung.

at the Taipei High Speed Rail Station.

really high speed, from Taipei to Koahsiung, it's only 1.5hrs of train ride.

and it's so much so much more comfortable than Jetstar..

thats why i say i'd rather take longer and yet more comfortable train ride home =X

then we went to what Chen Qing Hu 澄清湖..

very very big place..

an uncle who stayed in there said we could "booked" his cab and he'll bring us around the 8 scenics inside..

the aquarium..

which was once a 秘密通道 for 蒋介石..

i noticed it when i saw they put a sign at a door saying, "Jiang Kai Shek's Bathroom"..

ah freaked me out sia! somemore the place freaking ulu,

nobody inside sia.. like totally no one, except the four of us..

until a lady appeared.. phew.. think she's just like us, a visitor.

quite budget la the aquarium, but they do have some variety of weird sea creatures.

don't know the name of the tower behind us.

7 stories high, the uncle asked us to climb to the top for the beautiful scenery..

i swear im no longer as fit as i used to be.. =X

view from the top of the tower..

we went to 六河 nightmarket after that.

it's ranked first among of the nightmarkets in Taiwan by the population..

but didnt take any photos..

was busy eating.. =P

then went to famous Lover's River, 爱河 after that..

board the 20mins ferry ride, with a guide on board..

eh till now, i still dont know why it's called 爱河. lol =P

then Day 8, we went to Cijin Island,

which was one of the more enjoyable day for me,

because..

we rented a bike for 4 person and toured around the island on our own!!

eh eh, i should be seated at the driver's seat which is beside me in the photo huh..

only one person can control the direction, while there are 4 sets of peddles.

everyone gets to cycle!!

you know traffic in Taiwan is super heavy, and i find the drivers there rather reckless..

so it was very cool to cycle on the road, looked at the map,

and find the scenic places you want to go all by yourselves!

just like normal vehicle, you have to find a parking lot to park your bike everytime you stop.

haha so fun! i love it man!! =D

the cheapest seafood i've ever eaten. 万二海产

crabs, big fish, lala, steam egg, vegetables, 1.5litre of coke for only 600 NTD

which is only S$26!!

not say very very nice la, but it's omega cheap!

in Singapore, the big fish alone would already costs more than $26

let alone there were crabs and lala..

ok after that we went to 梦时代 shopping complex..

mega big, with 9 stories high and a ferries wheel at the roof top.

mm then it was home sweet home on day 9..

the whole day was practically spent on travelling all the way to Taoyuan Airport

with all our baggages..

went with one luggage each.

back with one more hand carry each =)

i miss the days at Taiwan alot alot..

other than it's a very fun country to go to,

i miss the freedom i have it over there, which i dont get it here in Singapore.

9 days of no worries, no stress, they are gone so fast..

it felt the same after my Hong Kong trip..

argh... post trip syndromes im having now..

they are terrible..

i will visit Taiwan again. Taiwan awaits me!! =D

now it's back to school................................................................

2010-08-23T22:37:00.016+08:00

back from Taiwan! like 3 days ago.. haha..
been lazy to update about the trip
just all in all, I Love Taiwan! =)
for its food, people, shopping, scenic, and etc...

so Day 1 was pretty much just liddat
reached Taoyuan Airport and bus-ed to our Future Star Hotel located at Ximending
honestly, our hotel pretty much sucks.
but for the price we paid, cant complain much.
it's not really a hotel i would say, just on the 7th 8th 9th floor of a building
we believe it's like Hotel 81 for people to ya ya ya.
cause we happened to chance upon a porn channel. lol =P
the only good thing is it's located just 1 min walk from the train station
and the management is very friendly =)
so first up was lunch at the famous 阿宗面线
quite cool, everybody just sits or stands by the roadside to eat
i pretty much like the mee sua but the rest didnt really like it cause of some spice in it
then off to Long Shan Temple to bai bai and walked around the nearby area
and then we ended our tiring first day with our familiar Watami dinner
home sweet home after that =)

at Taoyuan Airport

on the bus to hotel

my favourite mee sua

Long Shan Temple

Day 2 was shopping day

im not really a shopaholic, but the things there are really cheap!
went to the underground malls at Taipei Main Station in the day,

and spent hours there when we were supposed to go to Taipei 101 that day

so ended up postponing Taipei 101. lol..

too many things to carry and so we went back hotel to put our stuff first before

we head for shopping at Wu Fen Pu again

Wu Fen Pu is like Bugis Street, but many many times bigger

2 3 hours is not even enough to cover half the place

and yes the things there also mega cheap

love it man! =)

bought some things but not alot, cause i bought a converse shoe on the first day,

and thought GG liao, first day jiu spent so much money,

so cut down on my expenses for the next few days

but at the end of the trip, i actually atill have quite abit of money left -_-!!

alright then off to our first nightmarket for our trip which is Raohe Nightmarket

ranked 3rd by the Taiwanese

signboard of the underground malls at Taipei Train Station

super big the place

everyone was busy shopping, nobody bothered to take any photo of the place haha

Raohe Nightmarket

very popular 胡椒包. very long queue..

Day 3 was probably one of the most tiring day

we went to Yilan

we 包 a cab for the whole day, which will bring us there and back,

and also to a few scenic places in Yilan

the cab driver offered us this deal actually

so we went to 五峰旗 waterfall, dont know what musuem of Yilan,

and lunched at a restaurant famous for its chicken,

(actually we think it was so so only haha)

and then to another Nightmarket which i forgot it's name =X

ok here comes the cool thing, but think it might not sound cool to you at all

there was a heavy jam back home, like really heavy jam

so the cab driver decided to take another route - risky route

the 北宜公路。

i went to google it, and it says this:

"北宜公路一直是台北通往宜蘭的重要管道，全长 82.5 公里，有九弯十八拐之险，造成多起意外事故。

ok nvm the main point is 九弯十八拐

watched jay chou Initial D right?

seriously machiam like that kinda road up the hill.

no straight road for more than 10m, just sharp turns everywhere

omg i swear i was practically staring at the front screen for the whole 1hr plus

while the cab driver turned left and right up and down the hill

somemore it was night time, there's no street lambs at all,

all you can depend on is your car's headlight

and the road's super narrow, super scared when a car from the opposite direction passed us

no wonder the car park attendant gave "the look" when he knows we're gonna take that route

BUT despite that, the scenic on top of the mountain is so beautiful!!

you can practically see the whole dont know Taipei or Yilan from the top of the mountain

haiya too bad photo's not nicely taken..

alright thats probably the most exciting and scariest car ride i've ever taken thus far..

our cab driver cum tour guide for that day

very nice uncle =) he's 62 btw..

our lunch..

at the musuem

exterior of the strangely shaped musuem

the supposedly very nice view from the hill

OH! and guess who we saw at the Nightmarket?!?!

Bryan Wong, Quan Yifeng, Zhong Qing and Dasmond Koh!!

funny thing is i see none of any Taiwan celebrities, yet bumped into them..

wanted to take photos with them but they looked dao. so..... =X

alright Day 4 was off to another musuem - the National Palace Musuem

luckily we had free tickets

felt so bored.... so sorry

then off to more shopping cause it was raining and luckily the rain stopped after awhile

and it was Taipei 101!!

ah so worth the ticket money

and i got a sourvenir. a Taipei 101 model =)

ok thats all for today..

pretty much lazy to describe the trip lol..

shall let pictures do most of the talking in future

2010-08-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

off to Taiwan from 13th to 21st August! =)

2010-08-10T00:14:00.002+08:00

emotionally strained for the past few days..
yet, i cant disclose them, and it's beginning to take its toll on me.
been thinking, seems like i've been neglecting many things in my life ever since then.
and i dont wish for this to happen.
how i wish i could have the best of both worlds..

this route is tough, as expected, but tougher than i've expected.
if only everyone could embrace it, life would be so much easier.
its a path i choose to take..
i have to accept it.

2010-08-07T21:52:00.002+08:00

been sick again since monday. damn bloody sianx =(
havent been in the best of my health ever since the holiday..
as a result, i dont really dare to date people out
for fear that i would pangseh them because of my health problems again..
i hafta recover fully by next week!!
please.....

2010-07-29T23:19:00.011+08:00

back from my 9 days of Hong Kong Trip!
9 days seems long, but it felt pretty short....
wish i could just stay there for as long as possible lol =P

well anw, i was there not exactly for a holiday, but to work
at the mega huge annual event-Hong Kong Bookfair 2010
Innoform (HK) Media purchased our programs and i was supposed to go there
and assist them
so out of the 8.5 days to be exact, i worked for 5 days
(4 days actually, cause i was sick one of the days)
first day was wasted cause gotta settle down and to the bookfair for some trainings
and so left with 2.5 days to travel around, but the last day was wasted too cause
of uber bad weather in hk..
and i brought a friend, kaiee, along cause i couldnt go alone, which was the initial plan
we were rather unlucky to meet with the typhoon season
it rained for most of the days, with 2 days of 黑色风暴, which is the highest warning alert
and so the last day just gone like that, and flight back got delayed for 2hrs too
sooooo, all in all, despite the very little time to play, it was still a great trip! =)
oh and i had beef everyday =X

on the Airport Express Train to our hotel after arrival

2 people came to "fetch" us from the airport

and this 30mins train ride is freaking expensive =S

all i wanna say is transportation in hk is expensive..

and then we settled down in our hotel, Empire Hotel in Wan Chai,

where my working place, the Hong Kong Convention Centre is located.

had a quick lunch and back to hotel for a nap cause we were damn freaking tired

had less then 2 hrs of sleep before our early morning flight..

was supposed to meet the GM and some promoters of Innoform at 6pm,

but we waited till around 8pm before we could start the training,

cause they took quite awhile to set up their booth..

some of the companies doing their set-ups

us sitting on some random chairs entertaining ourselves while waiting for them

finally got to start the briefing..

there were over 10 Innoform staffs working at this bookfair

most of them were part-timers, and all younger than me!

like 17, 18, 19.... felt freaking old....

my little corner out of the entire booth

the bookfair is a mega huge event in hk.

there were many levels of different halls selling books/products.

unlike Singapore Bookfair which is so so so small as compared to hk..

just my hall alone selling children's products is bigger than SBF lo lol..

and the crowd was super super..

the walking time was supposed to be around 10mins from my hotel to the convention centre,

but it took me like 20 mins to get in there with the crowd

there were just toooooooo many people that you hafta queue up and walk for like few hundred metres before u could even purchase your admission ticket

oh, you hafta pay 25hkd to enter the bookfair, and it's free over here

HKTDC confirms earn big time =P

ah and the people there bring lugguage to the fair!

like the lugguage you bring overseas

like 6 in 10 people you see in the fair drag a lugguage

and the bookfair opened till 12am and still freaking lots of people

even the delifrance and shops in the area opened till very late just for this bookfair

see how "crazy" hongkongers are over books!

we only bought like 4 chinese books on impulse, ok most of the books there are in chinese

traditional chinese somemore

cause it costs only 100hkd, which is less than 20sgd. super cheap! haha

kinda wasted that we didnt walk much around the bookfair, and never get some english books..

photo taking with some of the promoters.

pretty disappointed that i couldnt take photos and exchange contacts with all of them.

they had working shifts, and so i could only exchange contacts with those working on that day

they were all very very nice to me, and i really appreciate it

really happy to meet them =)

ok, so while i was working during that 5 days, kaiee just wondered around hk herself

felt pretty bad that she had to travel herself

but fortunately, the GM of Innoform was very nice.

she planned a working shift for me too, and so i didnt have to work for like 12-14hrs a day

i only hafta work for like 8hrs a day, so had some time to eat walk around for some of the nights

eh here are some of the photos taken by her.

not very sure where she went but ya.. lol =P

ah! my fave fave fave noodle stall!! just nearby my hotel

it's just sooooooooooooooooo great that i had their beef noodles 3 times!

you get to choose the ingredients yourself and their 粗米粉 is soooo soft!

and there's this other beef noodles stall that is soooo great that i had it 3 times too!

it just smells so good that you could smell it even across the road! i swear!

LOL! i know i know, it's pretty dumb to keep eating the same thing overseas

but it's just soooo great ma. what's more i didnt have much time to eat around

so we were really happy and lucky to find this 2 stalls besides our hotel

aiya forgot to take photos of the noodles

i really miss them man!!

the interior of the eatery

Mong Kok Street

we went there one of the days after my work for dinner

heard from the promoters that there are many shopping places there

mm but what we saw were many many shops selling shoes

so just had dinner, what's more we aint the shopping kind

eating and playing are my preferred activities haha =D

well Mong Kok Street is pretty cool, there were freaking lots of people even late in the night

and so we dined at Little Fushion which sells Jap and French food i think

this is my chessy beef lasagna which looks eh pretty gross with the yellowish thing

until i realised it's actually potato lol

kaiee ordered Fried Udon and it was good

this was our "side dish".... Seafood with Fried Nian Gao

mmm we didnt know that it's actually a main dish portion

and so the waitress was pretty shocked when we ordered that too, and asked,

"你叫三样啊?" -.-!!!

was alittle offended when she said this, what's more 2 waitress asked the same thing too..

what's wrong man? we really did finish up our food lo

but anw, the food was good and cheap!

just around 25sgd for 3 main dishes and 2 big cups of bubble tea and ice lychee =)

and then thou already mega full, we still succumbed to mango desserts!!

passed by a rather famous eatery which sells a variety of mango desserts.

there is one at Wan Chai too.

our Mango with sago and extra Mango!

Bird nest with pomelo and mango icecream and fruits!

last day of work ended at 8pm.

so we went to Tsim Sha Shui for dinner

didnt know what to eat so just settle for a Jap restaurant

kaiee's very nice Steak with Mushroom Rice

my not very nice Cold Ramen with Saseme Mayonnese

i didnt enjoy this dish cause i dont like saseme at all

i just saw the word "推荐" and missed out the word Saseme -.-!!!

but the Chocolate Sundae made up for my not very nice ramen
it was stated "人气" this time,

and we conclude that "人气" means really good food and

"推荐" is for not very nice food and that's why they hafta recommend it lol
just like some people who are damn popular are 人气 and

some people who aint that popular so needa get 推荐 haha

okok this is just a lame insider joke =P

mmm kaiee thinks this caucasian's side view looks like Edward

where got sia.. looks more like our maths lecturer -.-!!

ok and so finally gotta play!

off to Ocean Park on the first day.

the weather's freaking hot! 33 degrees! nearly heat stroke sia..

whats more we stupidly wore jeans that day. omg....

cant believe it..

anw, it was very very crowded that day, cause it's school holiday over there now

and so all the queues for the rides were mega long

had to queue an hour or so for some of the rides

so imagine standing under the scorching sun. arghh!

the thought of it makes me feel like fainting now

this "look-damn-scary-rollar-coaster-ride" was actually a scam!

i swear it really looked damn scary with the 3 360degress turns,

but totally nothing sia.

im not scared of theme park rides, the only thing im scared of is nauseaness after the rides

and just after the first ride, i felt nauseous, probably had too much food before that

and so i was very scared to take this rollar coaster,

not because im scared of the ride, but just afraid that i would puke

and so ya, was rather disappointed when it ended like less than a min..

cause it got me scared for nothing! =X

saw that very tall structure there, i took this Space Shot ride!

alone.....................

because someone was scared.................

lol..

but ya, it was disappointing too

the one in Genting is so much better

this Snow Cone was our saviour..

it's just so very hot

dont know why rainstorm on many other days and just so hot that day

until i buay tahan and took off my outer layer clothes..

the Ocean Aquarium

took many photos of the sea creatures but only showed a few here

they are super huge!

cute little creature. forgot his name

and this is Paul!

we played one of the stall games and won him!

super huge! until we had to check him in together with our lugguage haha

the hotel staff put him inside a black thrash bag and

machiam looked like we're smuggling body lol..

was surprised the custom didnt check what's inside the thrash bag

by the time we reach our hotel it was already 9pm

original plan was to go to The Peak after that but it was too late

missing out The Peak and Tim Sum were one of my "biggest regrets" for this trip

2nd day: On our way to Macau!

i just only wanted to take a candid photo of kaiee and the ang moh behind just joined in without her knowing

so cute him! =D

we choose to go Macau because we really wanna gamble lol

so took a ferry over and got persuaded by one of the many Casinos to board their bus

there are like 30 over Casinos over there

Sands Casino

the one at Marina Sand Bay

i cant remember the spelling of the Casino we went

some L'Are something..

i just know it's damn smelly in there with all the cigarattes =S

ok anyway, so it was the first time i stepped into a casino

at first we lost around 1500hkd, and were super demoralised and wanted to go

then suddenly i got some "feel" over at the "Big, Small" table lol

and suddenly won like 4 5 rounds consecutively

and so in the end we only lost 500hkd,

which is about near 100sgd

actually we won 700hkd at first, but thought aiya we just came in only,

how can we just leave so early..

now i know.. Problematic Gamblers. haha....

and guess what??

I LOST MY PHONE IN THE CASINO!! ARGHH!!

seriously dont know how i lost it....

but luckily i kept my SIM card with me

maybe a blessing in disguise ba

and i only realised it when we were on the bus back to the Ferry Terminal

so took the bus back again to the casino to search for it, but of cause in vain la

anw, while taking the escalater up at the Macau Ferry Terminal,

there was a group of elderlies infront of us with lugguages

then suddenly we heard a rather loud "pomp" and saw one of the ah ma-s,

lying on the steps of the escalater!

she fell down and hit herself at the back of her head,

and couldnt stand up, and gotta use one hand to prevent herself from rolling down the escalater

and she just lied down there till it reached the next level

omg, both of us were damn scared and ran up the stairs beside it wanting to help her

when we saw her, her whole head and hands and shirt were filled with blood,

alot alot of blood. we were very very scared and didnt know what to do

except to offer her tissues

but the other elderlies said it's ok and they will settle it

i dont know what happened in the end cause we gotta rush back to the casino to look for my phone

all i know is i saw policemen after that

and when we returned to the terminal and took the same escalater again,

so coincidentally, when i stepped on the steps, the steps infront of me were the blood stains,

a big big patch of them..

haix... the image of the blood stained ah ma just couldnt go away from my mind

it really affected us both that night, what's more with my phone missing.

what a day for us =X

after checking out from the hotel, we lunched at a bar beside our hotel

finally some western food lol..

and then it rained damn heavily the whole day

so ya wasted day...

and so home sweet home that night =)

all in all, it was quite a meaningful experience for me,

after all, it's the first time i get to like work overseas,

even though it's only a part time job

i would like to go back to hk again, this time to play, and not to work

haha! =D

2010-07-19T18:54:00.001+08:00

will be away in Hong Kong from 20th to 28th..
hope everything turns out fine! =)

2010-07-14T02:08:00.002+08:00

thursday's coming..
which means jel is going away for long..
so gonna miss you gal..
haha dont be surprised..
they're from the bottom of my heart =)

hadnt been at the best of mood for the past 2 weeks..
the upcoming trip almost making me insane..
aint going overseas a thing to be happy about??

and i dont know how long i can go on keeping things to myself..
this aint easy.. as expected....

2010-07-08T04:42:00.001+08:00

Goodbye my dearest Germany =(
devastated.. =(
speechless at the way they played tonight =(
i just hate octopus now.... =(

2010-07-04T21:59:00.002+08:00

havent been blogging for a looooooooooooooong time,
basically just nothing interesting for me to talk about.
all i know is the holiday's coming to an end soooooooooon =(
before you even know, half of the holiday has just gone....
like freaking fast....
and all i know is also that im not at the best of my health ever since my birthday week.
been feeling unwell/sick on and off for the past 1 month or so
terrible..
mainly the reason why i hasnt been meeting some friends
everytime when i wanna date them, or has already booked them,
something bad must happen to my body. like seriously
like just now, i felt giddy and nauseous suddenly.
super super sianx man....
i needa take care of myself before i can enjoy myself!!

Germany's into the Semis!!
and they're going into the FINALS!!
WOOHOO!!!! =D =D =D =D

seriously if u're updated with the WC,
most people would agree with me that Germany's probably the only team,
worthy of being the Champions this WC, apart from Brazil,
which i would say it's a pity that they are eliminated.
WC semis without Brazil is just weird....
Germany, now being the team with the most number of goals,
has 13 goals out of their 5 games.
they could beat England and Argentina with 4-1, 4-0, C'MON!
well, many would say the result might be different if Lampard's goal was allowed,
i agree too..
but we cant deny the fact that the Germans did play better,
and ya 球是圆的, you need alot of luck too.
the Netherlands, though in the Semis too, aint really performing to their expectations,
could have done better.
and SPAIN, even lagi worse.
the team which caused me to lose $15 the first time i bet on Sports,
seriously going through to the Semis like lucky luckily.
merely 1 goal for most of their matches, and missed Penalty! ,
given the number of super talented players they have,
i really hope Germany wouldnt lose to them just like that.
im not being bias here, just stating my views and the comments i heard around.
Give the title to the one who deserves it the most.
but still, 球是圆的....
i can only pray hard that the Germans would go through =)

hope that my Hong Kong trip could come true
it'd be a good learning experience! =)

im all in now..
afraid of losing....

2010-06-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

World Cup fever is settling in for me..
after the defeat of my fave Germany to Serbia,
hope that the subscription of super expensive WC channel wouldn't go to waste
Go Go Go Germany!! =)

follow my heart and that's where it'll lead me to

2010-06-17T00:36:00.002+08:00

wtfish!! i drank a one whole cup of expired milk in the afternoon
and didnt realise until my bro asked me at night -_-!!!
and expired by a week liao -_______________________-
i didnt feel anything wrong with me until i knew of this
guess im just paranoid....
and the way my bro told me.. Dots man.......
bro: 你刚才喝牛奶啊?
me: uh huh. why?
bro (grinning): 你有没有看 expiry date?
me: 没有啊，oh shit!! WHY?! WHAT THING?!
bro (LOL alrdy): hahaha 你去看咯..

DOTS man...............

2010-06-07T01:28:00.004+08:00

sick now... fever....
thought i could enjoy myself after consecutive days of work
sorry friends if i never date u out as promised again
really feeling kinda unwell =X

ehh i know this post comes alittle too late but well...

Celebration with uni clique

alright the whole table then became rather dirty cause
they smashed some of the cake on my face
which the whole process took like 5mins cause i didnt dare to do it -_-'''

this "cheapo $10" (according to them) was supposedly my birthday present
they know i had always wanted a psp (never really told them)
just that it's toooo expensive a gift so i just told them i want a watch
soooo these ppl actually bought a $10 watch and pretended to be my present
and just wanting to see my disappointed face when i see that
cause the watch's not very very nice and they know i'd pretend to be happy
so yaaa, i really thought that's my present and accepted it

then da da! my REAL birthday presents
which they gave me nearing the end of the celebration
a PSP and hand-made card made of wood planks! =D

Celebration with the Clique

mm this tweety's not from the Clique. lol

so the gals had a surprise for me
they blind folded me and kept me away from them for like half an hr
and brought me to Pasir Ris Park

and there it is.. on the sand
another hand-made present made of wood planks too. lol =D

was supposed to receive a surprise and a dinner with Oceanx

which i ruined it. sorry! -_-'''

but its ok! will make up for it =)

and also meet ups with friends i havent seen for a loooooooooong time

mm if i passed my new job interview,

i gotta work for 6days a week, retail hours somemore

no more play and rest =X

work for the past few days had been uber tiring............

neh the sales job i did last year

so i've been repeating and repeating the same lines over and over again. lol..

and for the first time kailing wendy and me worked together!

the Clique owns the world! =D

and fish man! i didnt manage to secure a hall place next sem

arghhh.. the points scheme has changed and it's 17 points this time

they are revising the recommendation list which i was promised a place in

haix... no longer harbouring any hope =(

i really really needa stay in hall. pleaseeeeeeeee

2010-05-29T01:08:00.002+08:00

ying xieng's 21st!!!!
=D ................................................ =X
am i happy or not? lol
yea happy for all the wonderful celebrations/surprises and presents i received
and a few more to come ( i supposed so? =P)
shall upload the photos when i got them
"funny" thing is for all the celebrations we didnt use MY camera..............

anyway i just wanna say,
THANK YOU for all the wishes, be it smses/fb
THANK YOU for all the efforts put in for me, be it celebrations/surprises,
and be it i spoilt it or not (eh you YOU, Oceanx! and my Uni friends)
and THANK YOU for all the presents, be it hand-made or not,
i seriously LOVE them lots!
and was caught by surprised many times
so yep yep, thanks alot for everything
im really grateful =)

actually i dont feel any different being 21, 20 or 19
im jus a day older from being 20
oh but it has one significant actually:
legally, i hafta be responsible for my own actions from now on =X
alright, not gonna write on my birthday resolutions cause i dont even have one

2010-05-26T01:36:00.001+08:00

nothing's on my head now except..
sorry. and nothing but sorry.. =(

2010-05-22T22:57:00.002+08:00

before work gets busy and serious next friday onwards
it's PARTY time! =D
eh i know i've not been to any any celebrations yet
but a big Thank You first to all whom put in effort for me
dont needa be stressed! i dont ask for much
大家开心就好 =)

i need another job badly badly
cant rely solely on this sales job since it'd only be a few days
and this year money's harder and harder to earn!
needa put in extra extra efforts and pray for alot alot alot of luck
to earn the amount i hope to get..
alright.. i sound so desperate reason being i dont wish to touch my savings
for taiwan trip and driving lessons
worse comes to worse, i might needa depend on mahjong to earn some cash lol...

tph's married!
pooooooom! there goes one dream..
just kidddding... =X

2010-05-14T15:32:00.002+08:00

just received a call that im starting work tml O.o
so sudden. not mentally prepared
anyway it's the sales job i did last year
but somehow im glad to start work earlier
needa earn for Taiwan trip!
my motivation to work hard now =)

2010-05-13T17:22:00.003+08:00

Ching Hwa's farewell
take care girl! and see ya at Taipei! =)

i wanna stay away from home =S

2010-05-08T21:31:00.004+08:00

super shagged post-exams activities:

last paper on tuesday

was already very tired cause i only slept less than 5hrs the night before the paper

yet still slept at 7.30am in the morning......

and woke up at 12.30pm to shop for presents with uni friends

then went for overnight mahjong which i lost 33bucks -___-

after which went straight away to ECP for picnic

with uni gang the next morning which was thurs

and went overnight at a friend's house that night

and slept at 3am..

IF i had not taken a 1hr nap in between at my friend's house

i'd have stayed up for consecutive 38hrs!!

omg.. totally SHAGGED

broke my record for not sleeping for the longest time

and i thought i could sleep for 12hrs straight after that "marathon"

ended up slept for only 7hrs -_______________-''''''''

probably cause i was at someone else's home

seriously need some rest now

but well though uber tired

had lotsa fun with them =D

it's been a long time since i had picnic, cycling, kite flying at a beach

and it's great to take in some fresh air after exams

dinner after presents-shopping with taiwan trip khakis

my beloved uni gang =)

Taiwan trip is confirmed! tickets booked!

13th - 21st August =D

ok but the thought of 9 FULL days feel kinda long thou lol

OH im thinking if i should get a hamster

this isnt an out of impulse decision

have been thinking about it like a year ago

and then my mum told me today that my neighbour wants to give away their hamsters

they have like 3 big hamsters and 6 new baby hamsters

now im waiting for the baby hamsters to grow bigger before i take over maybe 2 of them??

SO EXCITED!!!! =D

2010-05-04T16:54:00.003+08:00

Oooooooooooooh EXAMS OVER!!!!
HAPPPPPPPPPY!!!! =D
actually there's nothing to be happy about
cause seriously i totally screwed up for this finals
for all papers
slackest sem of all. cant go any worse than this =X
but still. its worth celebrating for the upcoming 4 months HOLIDAY!! =D

not celebrating today cause gonna shift out of hall later
playing shall starts tomorrow!!

plans for the looooooong holiday:
1) work damn hard and earn lotsa money for driving and taiwan trip
2) play damn hard for all the reasons there should be
3) learn driving (hopefully i could find back the lost drive)
4) anticipating taiwan trip with my uni gang!
5) watch super alot of HK dramas
6) play
7) play again
8) play until i go crazy
9) play until im sick of playing
10) so happy i could die

=D ok thats crap
im just alittle not over the Immediate Post-Exams Shock

have been listening to lotsa english songs for the past 1 month or so
downloaded like 85 english songs for the past 1.5 months =O
now i find english songs nicer than chinese songs
and at the same time i wanna improve my english

here are some which i think are nice:
Angels Cry, A Lonely September, Cry,
My Wish, Sometimes I Forget, Unbeautiful,
Right Here Right Now, What Hurts The Most (Rascal Flatts),
When I Look At You, Wedding Dress (orginates from Korean Big Bang)

eh all sad songs. lol =P

lastly, all the best to those who are still mugging hard for exams!
hang in there! =)

2010-04-13T05:15:00.003+08:00

never felt so lucky and fortunate before
ok maybe i did just that i didnt know how to appreciate back then
a thank you is not even enough
but i just wanna sincerely thank you for everything
just everything

now i just needa be true to myself..
dont even know what i want -_-'''
save me..

2010-04-06T20:47:00.002+08:00

so many things just happen suddenly without any warning
emotionally mentally and physically tired and worn out

2010-04-01T04:53:00.002+08:00

what would you do if you are given a once in a lifetime opportunity
to try something you probably would only dare to dream doing it in your sleep
yet the biggest concern to you is you are so dead sure that you are not up for it?
would you still give it a try?

somebody from ntu's badminton team asked me to join their trainings
i wanna emphasize that its not because im good
but rather they are desperately in need of players to the max
you know join their trainings. omg
its really happening. i never even dare to dream about it
join their trainings doesnt mean i will definitely be in the team of course...
and now im troubled
on one hand i really really wanna give this a try
on the other hand i have many many concerns:
- cant blend into the team
- not sure if i wanna go through those setbacks and disappointments again
(there ought to be definitely)
- im definitely no longer as "good" as "i was"
im not saying i was ever good
im just saying there is sure to be some point of time when you will be at your own peak
the period when you train vigorously. the period when you can produce your best
and the period when you are just so into badminton
aiya some should get what i mean
- i havent played major competitive badminton for a long time
(apart from IHG which isnt that competitive as compared to the last one which was like 3 years back?)
and of course the 2 MAIN concerns that is holding me back are
i am really really scared of rejection and
i am really really not goooooood enough. or should say not good at all
i know i shouldnt belittle myself like this
but you know we are talking about tertiary level now
definitely much tougher and prestigous than in sec sch and jc
(at least thats how i feel about it)
walau when i already struggled like hell

and another similar problem
my roomie has been asking me to join their women's soccer team for a sem
its IVP also btw
we played before and she said i have ball sense and play better than most of the freshies
(freshies as in the really new bloods. not including those who had prior experience)
and they need players also..
i was really tempted to give it a try
but the main concern now is not whether im good enough or not
cause i know im definitely not even near good compare to them la
i just cant decide if i wanna commit and play soccer
something not new and yet new to me
but i do love playing soccer too (dont be surprised)
just like how i used to love badminton until all those setbacks you know
you probably enjoy the game only when there is no pressure
yea this is the case most of the time

sometimes i just "hate" this side of me (cant think of a less impactful word)
im sure many people feel this way too
that we are just not good enough (although it might be a fact)
why cant i just have the courage to take the first step?
it is always the first step which is the most important and yet hardest step to take
why am i so afraid of rejection?
why cant i just put away all my stupid concerns and just give it a try?
the thing i "hate" about this side of me is i DONT EVEN DARE TO TRY
i never even give myself a chance. a chance to prove myself wrong
and just disparage myself like that
and because of this. i think i missed many opportunities given to me
not only applying to sports. and other aspects of my life too
like i just DONT DARE to do many things
and all this because i think toooo much worry toooo much
thats what my dad and a friend told me
so long as this is with me one day. i would not be able to accomplish big things
this is so true =X

so to whoever's out there having similar problems as me
hope that you could be more courageous than me
and teach me how if you've finally taken your first step

2010-03-28T16:52:00.002+08:00

omg. cant believe i login to blogger using my NTU user and password just now
not once. consecutive twice somemore.....
must be login to NTU webby too many times lately =X

and i got something FREAKING DISDUSTING to say!!!!

well i stayed back in hall this weekend for projectssssss with my friends
(sad right? oh well..)
so last night bao bei and me went to the coffeeshop at Pioneer Station for dinner/supper at 11pm
and also to dabao back for wx cause she needa rush another project
just when we started eating our food
i noticed this BANGLAH sitting at the table beside ours kept STARING at me
i looked away and looked back he was STILL STARING at me
somemore he wasnt that kind that turn away when he found out i saw him staring at me
he still turned himself towards me and continued to stare at me
like DIRECTLY into my eyes. and he was soooo near
ok nvm...
then he stood up to go to the toilet. i was back-facing the toilet side
bao bei said he turned and looked at us before he went in!!!
ok still nvm...
he came back and returned to his table and continued to stare at me!
omg freak...
as there were only the 2 "fragil" us. we didnt dare to do anything stupid
ok still still nvm...
then he stood up and walked away from my direction towards the train station
then i saw him kept looking back and smiling at us as he walked away
and made a i dunno what kind of hand signal was that
ok still still still nvm...
i thought he was out of sight already
after that i saw him leaning against the railing which was quite a distance from us
lile at least 10m away and loooooooooooked at us again. wth
ok still still still still nvm...
the coffeeshop is separated into "inside and outside"
both no air-con. just a single lane of passage in between
we were inside..
then this idiotic banglah came back and stood in the middle of the passageway
just one table away from us and STARED AT US AGAIN for like few mins
like what the....
i wasnt scared that he's gonna follow me or whatever when im gonna return to hall alone later
i was just pissed off that a banglah just looked at you non stop for the whole 30 to 40mins
somemore is intense looking. he really didnt bother to pretend he wasnt looking at us
i tried to stare back at him but gave up after 2 seconds
i really cant look into his eyes for long...
then i made a phone call to wx to inform her just in case you know
not like i really think he will stalk me back to school or what la
and as i was on the phone. i stared at him. tried damn hard not to look away
and i guess he was scared. scared i called the police or what
cause he disappeared after that....
and he made me paranoid when i was on the bus alone after that
my mind was very 乱 and i kept thinking somebody is watching me
stupid banglah.. i can still remember that pair of eyes and the smile on his face
what the fish.. seriously

on a "much lighter" note
i cant wait to get over and done with all the projectssssssssss
i really wanna sit down and start studyyyyyyyyyying!

2010-03-23T20:24:00.002+08:00

surprisingly Kidnapper starring Christopher Lee is really not a bad show
before reading iWeekly i did had a one star mindset
never even thought of watching this show
but after reading reviews from the readers i had higher expectation
and so went to watch with my coursemates last night after shopping for birthday presents
at first i was so scared that what if it turned out to be boring as expected
then my friends would blame me cause they werent very interested in this show at first
after all local productions other than some Jack Neo's movies
arent that welcoming here
BUT it turned out to be so so so much better than expected!
touching moments and suspense throughout the whole movie
i still felt creepy few hours after the movie =X
my friend said its "scarier" than horror movie lol
good job to the director and Chris Lee

2010-03-22T02:52:00.003+08:00

many things happened within the last 2 weeks
mostly sad events sad news.. but well....
so much so that i dont wanna face it
i still gotta accept it..
you just gotta Keep Forgetting

i never update that one of a friend among my "click" of coursemates just quitted school
like 2 weeks ago
because she was too stressed. cant sleep
to the point that she needa went on medication
(now im thinking if i should have taken medication back in jc)
although she just joined our click a year ago only
its rather sad that someone is leaving us
just when we started to know each other better
i have one less audience to tell my jokes to
(because she said i was supposed to tell her a joke everyday)
apart from the fact that some of us got affected emotionally
i guess this departure has more or less affected us mentally
the Strength to overcome the stress we are facing
because somebody has already taken "this first step"
and those who have this thought in mind but just lack the courage to do so
might be contemplating now
2 of us are already thinking of quitting school or changing course as a last resort
depending on their results this sem

actually im not in favour of this mentality
well its not that i am doing fine now. im not..
but because i know i did not even put in the effort to work hard
i did not even tried my best to achieve my best results
how can i even think of quitting school?
to me unless you really study damn hard and yet still cant do well
then ok maybe this course really isnt the one for you
i dont know if i can just 一竹竿打翻整艘船
but looking at the way the few of us are doing now
(im talking about the girls. i dunno why uni guys are so damn hardworking!)
i know we did not even work as hard
compared to many many others (local or international students)
some of us dont even listen during lectures
i have to admit i only listen attentively for ONE lecture this sem
out of the few that i went
and for the millionth time i say i never do a single tutorial
believe it or not
im not trying to "show off" myself for being so slack
its not something to proud of anyway
just trying to bring out the point that we shouldnt give up so easily
not until we really tried our best
maybe many of us might think "i wasnt like this last time"
"i used to be very hardworking and motivated"
yea me too. i used to too
but those were the times when we had teachers to give us a push
now we dont
and so the true test of our self-discipline
which i have to say i failed the test
my discipline only comes in when im desperately in need of time
like one month to exams and i still dont know my stuff at all!
this is happening again this sem =X
but anyway.. as im here trying to encourage whoever is thinking of giving up now
and yet slacking my time away
please do not give up so easily
think of the reasons you gave yourself when choosing this course
be it its the course of your dream. its out of impulse or you didnt have a choice
be responsible for your choice and yourself
but still... the choice is yours
if really really cannot take it then just be it
有时勉强真的不会有幸福
hope i wont be the first few to give up
ok irony!!!!
-____________-

LOL

and my DEAREST TAY PING HUI IS NOT SINGLE AND AVAILABLE ANYMORE!
HE IS GONNA GET MARRIED SOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!
i didnt even know he has a gf of many years la
what thee......... fish..
now i know why some idols cant declare themselves attached or married
it really breaks the heart of many fansssss
like me.... =(

but this is nothing compared to someone else being unavailable....

Keep Forgetting by JoJo

2010-03-08T20:16:00.003+08:00

i know everyone is busy with projects assignments and tests now
i just wanna like rant alittle to release my frustration

projects, assignments and tests currently on hand:

Econometrics Assignment
(individual 1.5k words due on 19th March)
needa plot regressions of ur data using excel and use all sorts of tests to test dont know what
what t test f test variance test chow test and like many many more shit
which i totally dont know how the hell to do it
i dont even know how to analyse or read the figures even if excel helps me to compute them

Academic Writing Project worth 90% of grade
(group report of 3k words and 2 individual reports due on 28th March)
and my group is not even 1/5 done yet

Entrepreneurship Project
(group business plan of 5k words due on 28th March
and i needa write 2k out of the whole plan cause i stupidly picked the wrong one....)

Midterms:
Probability and Statistics 2 on 11th March
Numerical Analysis 1 on 15th March
Calculus 4 on 25th March
Econometrics on 2nd April

dont needa mention how laggggg behind im in my studies

just kill me please....

2010-03-07T02:56:00.002+08:00

why am i spending so much time on a NON-GRADED MODULE!!
why does ntu always come out with this kinda non graded yet needa spend so much time module!!
if only my language is better
much more time would have been saved =(

im soooooooooo freaking stressed up =(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

need some entertainment to cheer me up
Down With Love here i come

there goes my one week of break =(

2010-02-24T02:54:00.004+08:00

satisfied with the amount of work i've done today
though the time spent was quite little compared to the time spent on slacking
at least i finally got started and know abit on the "MHASIMM"
"Most Hated and Seriously Insane Maths Module"
ok dont know why i gave it such a long name
its real name is "Probability and Statistics 2"
dont think that oh stats. we learnt it in jc what
its freaking different. i wonder if its even maths
this mod is the only mod which has 3hrs of lectures a week
but until now week 7. there are only 3 sets of very thin notes(like 20slides?)
which are not very helpful by the way
during lecture. the lecturer just writes and writes non stop on blank papers
which im totally clueless on wth he's writing about
so the method i used to learn it in the shortest time possible just now
as what my friend taught me
"just do the tutorial and dont read notes or textbook"
because by the time you finish reading and still dont really understand the book
exams are over already...
oh and the method works!
because i realised the qns are kinda repeatitive
i managed to know minimal on whats going on for the first 4 tutorials
considering that i've never done a single tutorial of any mod this sem
honestly. shame on me =(
mm but somehow i feel very insecure
to do the qns without understanding the concept behind
machiam like you are trying to sweep the floor
but you swept everything under the carpet and the rubbish is still there
but seems like “那是解决现有问题的最好办法”
given that midterms are coming
ok enough on studies
everybody is sick of it =X

i have some issues regarding keeping public toilets clean
wanted to use the hall toilet this afternoon
and what i saw were bloodstains on the toilet bowl seat and floor
i mean i understand that that person didnt do it on purpose
but i dun understand why cant that person just clean up the mess before she leaves?
dont tell me you never see them when you flush the bowl?
or you think its too dirty and disgusting to clean them up yourself?
then how about the cleaner?
and just now at night i went to the toilet again
the stains still there...............
i dont believe whoever who did that no need to go to the toilet the whole day lo
the other cubical is squat one
and i think she wouldnt go to the squat one given she went to the seated one
so unless she really never use the toilet again after that
she must had find the seated one disgusting thats why use the squat one
then clean it up la! walau. unless again she thought it wasnt her who did it
(eh can i make all these assumptions? and paiseh for all the squat and seat thing lol)
this is not the first time i see such things
the other time was at a toilet in school also
the blood just dripped out of the bowl and formed "a line" against the toilet bowl onto the floor
machiam like murder scene (so sorry to disgust you)
and im not only particular towards bloodstains or whatever
even sometimes people dont flush the bowl thoroughly
which i personally dont really like la. i dont know how others feel about it
ok if the flush is faulty then not your fault
but i notice in my hall toilet some people just flush once and walk away
without checking if the toilet papers or whatever's inside are really flushed away
and most of the time they dont
considering the flush can be flushed many times at one go with still alot of water
ok i sound fussy and picky
but i think it's just basic courtesy to keep public toilets clean for other users
and of cause to lessen the workload of the cleaners
and seriously there are many times when some hall stayers
pour food remains into the sink and choke up the whole sink
which is freaking disgusting
walau you think toilet very easy to clean isit. clean yourself la!
so much so for the "Clean Toilet Starts From You" poster everywhere
no wonder many public toilets in Singapore arent really clean
ok i seriously hope im not one of those people i mentioned LOL
just kidding! =P

2010-02-24T02:32:00.002+08:00

finally "not lazy" to upload some photos
wendy's 21st birthday party!
DSLR camera is just different
see how clear and sharp the photos are
too bad Blogger partially spoils the quality of the photos
oh the first 2 photos were taken from an iPhone
cool effects yea? =)

and so we "secretly hid" under a shelter just opposite where the party was located
to blow up the balloons which were supposed to be used for some games
but we not playing them because of time constraint

birthday gal with the balloons not knowing what forfeits were inside

nice candid shot=) thanks to whoever who took this

Clique with the SUPER pretty cake

the black white "stripes" on the cake are roses of black and white chocolates!

and those white portion u see at the sides of the cake

they are pieces of of chocolates and not cream! yummy yummy

Friends and Family =D

2010-02-18T02:20:00.002+08:00

yes. the hardest thing on earth to say is probably Sorry
especially to someone so dear to us
despite us saying it so unselfishly to any random people everyday
we know we are at fault
yet it just wouldnt come out of our mouth
because we are stupidly stubborn
trying to hold on to our so called "backbone"
want to apologise yet afraid to
afraid of many silly and "can do without with" reasons
perhaps we should start reflecting now
how often do we say something hurtful and leave without apologising?
especially to our family
i believe most of us are never stingy
when it comes to saying Sorry to friends or strangers
but we often tend to neglect this part when it concerns our family
we take our family members for granted at times. or maybe most of the time
im not sure about others. but i guess i am
there were so many times when i said something hurtful in a moment of anger
and i felt really contrite and guilty after that
yet i never apologise even when i really wanted to
or sometimes it never even cross my mind
so maybe we should watch our words and give alittle bit more concern from now on

sometimes we do not even notice an unintentional remark hurts too..

2010-02-13T23:18:00.002+08:00

before i thank mediacorp for nominating tph as Best Actor once again
i seriously wanna burn down mediacorp once again too
other than showing his very nice drama during april
which is the exam period meaning i cant watch
Star Awards is on 25th April
and i have papers on 26th and 27th!!!!
KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS KNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and rumoured to be because of little nyonya!!!!
oh my freak freak freak freak freak freak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if it wasnt that they want to nominate little nyonya into last year stars awards
it would always always be during the dec holiday period
and "everyone would be happy"
even if you arent a mediacorp fan. it might not make a different to you
but its definitely better to show on dec than april such weird time of the year right
haix. not like i think tph will win la
this is his 6th nomination for Best Actor
i've been through 5 disappointment with him already
so i only wanna watch =x

and it was another quite happening week last week
monday went to stayover at my friend's house again
for project purpose this time but ended up never do at all cause was too tired
i cant remember what i did for the rest of the week
then i played overnight mahjong in hall
with my roomie and coursemates on thursday night
till morning 5am and i skipped all lessons on friday
which is supposed to be the most important day of the week
cause there are 3 tutorials and 1 lecture =x
i really wanted to go but imaging 2 people sharing a single bed
cannot sleep properly the whole night sia
half the time my eyes were opened
oh well its not an excuse though -_-

I SO SO SO WANT TO PLAY MAHJONG NOW!!!!
the addiction is back...

oh btw Happy CNY and Valentine's Day to everybody=)

2010-02-10T02:52:00.002+08:00

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time,
we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters -
whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past
the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end?
Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad?
Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won't take another step
until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life
have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved:
your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister,
everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves,
getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time,
not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us.
What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children,
late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents,
lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away
and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs,
move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world,
of what is going on in our hearts -
and getting rid of certain memories also means
making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards,
so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.
Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated,
your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again,
the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss:
that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off,
work that is promised but there is no starting date,
decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment."
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished:
tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person -
nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance,
but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Closing Cycles - Paul Coelho

2010-01-29T01:47:00.002+08:00

yeahhh i finally did my FIRST tutorial of the sem!!!!
seriously im very very proud of myself
i finally get down serious with my work for the first time of the sem
can you imagine? its already thursday of 3rd week and i only just started studying
i really mean it when i say i never study at all
until mon when i suddenly 真的怕了
mon after our usual Sports Day session
we skipped a non graded mod lecture again which is like from 5.30-8.30
and went jp for dinner
my bao bei just randomly say go her house stayover(she wasnt serious)
and i really just stayed over at her house. invited of cause
cool right so impromptu haha
i love this kinda random stuff. like say supper jiu supper. mj jiu mj
ok then at her house i suddenly realised sucks wth am i doing here?
shouldnt i be studying? i planned to study
i had so many random stuff to attend to this week
tues watched badminton match. wed watched cheer leading competition
(oh btw my hall is the champion this year again=))
then thurs was supposed to watch liang wen ying's concert in NTU
but i gave my ticket away in the end cause 我真的怕了
its already end of week 3 and i still dont know whats going on in week 1's lecture
and do think im taking 7 mod this sem=x
needa be serious!!=x

like i said its a downward sloping curve
year 1 sem 1 i think i did almost all tutorials beforehand even if i dont know how to
year 1 sem 2 well still acceptable
year 2 sem 1 at least did the first 2 tutorials for some but some totally never touch at all
year 2 sem 2 kns never even do the first tutorial
真的活该。连我自己都看不下去

am i really not serious?
not referring to my studies. but the way i talk
since the start of school at least 5 uni friends said im not serious when i talk
or say im crap
because i try to joke or be funny when i talk
then they dont know when am i serious and when am i joking
so they assume im joking and always add a "Serious?" after what i say
and it gets irritating at a point because sometimes
i REALLY mean what i say sia
they even teased me that if one day i die and say my wish before i die
they will ask "Serious??" -_-'''
but they dont mean the bad way la
i said i will be serious from now on but they asked me not to
next time when i say im gonna faint or im being kidnapped
please believe me

i also should try to reduce the number of embarassing things i do
this week i did a few more embarassing stuffs
apart from the 认错人 incident which im not gonna elaborate
today after dinner with my friends in the canteen
i super gei2 kiang3. wanted to balance 2 trays with bowls and cups on top for fun
then my bao bei said "DONT drop"
and when i wanted to stop "playing" and put down the tray
i accidentally spilled a full-cup of root beer on her jeans............
the chair and floor and her file ya tio3 root beer.........
like in the middle of the canteen during dinner hour..............
this is like the 3rd time in 2 years that i spilled drinks
first was last year also with my uni friends in the canteen
i accidentally spilled a whole full large cup of ice lemon tea on the table
when i wanted to shift my friend's laptop away in case the drink topples
and i spilled the drink myself instead
then another time was at white sands which i mentioned before
i dropped again a whole full cup of kfc drink in the middle of the shopping complex
and rmb i was alone..............
then now again. what the....... feel like slapping myself

and this afternoon was talking with my friends about soccer
my guy friend was surprised that i do watch soccer sometimes
so he asked me to name 5 manu players
then i happily happily named Rio Ferdinand as "Fernando"
i said "neh the English defender Fernando dunno what "...
and named the goal keeper "David Seaman"
and said AC Millan is in Spanish League
and they all laughed at me
walau eh... cant believe i actually said all those stuffs
when i really do know them. just that i suddenly forgot
haix.. i have no more face to throw liao=(

2010-01-25T01:24:00.002+08:00

freak i failed my ftt......
i almost heck cared about this test
which results to this kinda result
SIANX!!!!
i havent do the test i knew i would fail
then halfway thru the test knew confirm fail
so i purposely wait till almost everybody left the room then i clicked done
so that nobody will know i fail
lol its ok. retake again in may and i will study hard this time

went shopping for my cny clothes with jel on fri
a BIG THANK YOU to you my lifelong online partner
for accompanying me from 1pm to 9pm
we had lunch and then shopped at ION for like really long
we can walk into the same shop for like 2 3 times
until we can even memorise which shop is located where la haha
then went 313 and then dinner
really really thanks so much for not complaining
and just accompany me for so long just for my clothes
though you bought one too haha

ok before my happy day with jel i had a very very SUAY morning
i hung my clothes out the night before and next morning it rained!!
you might think why i so stupid to even hang my clothes outside in the night
我是有苦衷的 =x
i wanted to snooze my alarm for another 10mins
the suddenly realised OMG raining!!
so i hurried to wash my clothes again and spin dry in the washing machine
i wasnt late for tutorial at first but due to the rain i took a detour
and then was late for 10mins
i peeped into the room and saw that it was fully packed no seats
and i was too paiseh to drag chair from another room so i didnt go tutorial in the end -_-'''
then i was in a hurry to meet jel
there are 2 SBS bus service in ntu. 179 and 179A
then there are 3 shutter bus service in ntu also. Bus A B C
so at the busstop i saw a SBS bus with no 179 or 179A
it just put A
so i thought its 179A and i board it
i even flashed out my ez-link card but the bus driver said no need to tap
i thought eh how come so good no need to pay
those waiting at the busstop "stupid" sia dont want to board
and the next moment before i knew it
ITS SHUTTER BUS A!!!!
the bus turned left back into ntu instead of going straight out of ntu
what the freak!!!!
that instance i felt like the stupid-est person in the world
and seriously felt like killing myself
so i just alight straight away and cab down
and i even typed wrongly in a sms to ys to tell her
im very SWAY instead of SUAY
then she replied "what you mean sway 3times? u drank alcohol last night?"
i still LOL and forgot that its SUAY and not SWAY and still 理直气壮 to her sia
say what u thought its literally that SWAY??
omg how dumb can i be sia =S

went for my second 21st party of the year this afternoon
seems like there are really MANY MANY more to come....
so broke..

2010-01-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

we have 7hrs break in between lessons on monday
yes i know. 7hrs super sianx.. especially for friends who dont stay hall
so im gonna enforce this "Every monday is Sports Day!"
yesterday during our looooooooong break
we played badminton basketball and i went gym to run 3km on the treadmill
exercised for like near 3 hrs
feel damn shiok+healthy+fun
and of cause dead tired after that
during the 3hrs lecture at 5.30pm walau buay tahan
then slept from 1am to 11.30am this morning
but still feel tired today haha
first time exercise with my coursemates super super fun
maybe street soccer next mon
no monday blues =D

2010-01-18T00:32:00.002+08:00

2 consecutive nights of supper with Oceanx at Xin Wang Cafe
reminds me of our genting trip
more of that please=D

2010-01-15T00:53:00.004+08:00

first week of school so fast coming to an end soon

summary: its a SUPER SLACK but fun week and i hope it could be like this forever

for 4 consecutive nights in hall i have been sleeping super late

just like holiday

sunday night "book in to my camp"

thought that we would sleep early.. in the end htht with my roomie till like 4plus am

when we had 8.30am lesson the next morning

first night jiu liddat liao lol=x

then i skipped an evening lecture to play badminton =D

though i was freaking tired i still stayed up online till 5 plus am......

then tuesday was my roomie's birthday

was supposed to play mj with our ex roomies but something cropped up

so in the end played with her soccer friends instead as a form of celebration

again until like 5.30am

and i lost to all 3... freak! maybe my luck is gone with the holiday=(

then wed night had squash match which i was freaking tired again after that

but still stayed up till 6am to make a present for my "bao bei"

because i didnt know that lesson starts at 10.30 on thurs!

i thought it was 1.30 so i use my own sweet time to do

until the bday girl reminded me -_-'''

so i skipped the morning lesson. 2nd time this week liao tsk tsk

after which the whole course clique went jp to celebrate my "bao bei" 's bday just now

i dont know why they like to play this kinda "couple thing" everytime

like keep saying "ur bao bei" all these

and they have lots of fun entertaining themselves by teasing us

whatever. just play along lo lol

see the "BOA" instead of "BAO"??

i sewed wrongly!! and it couldnt be saved

so now they keep calling us BOA BEI

(pronounce bua bei. sound damn vulgar -_-''')

so much for first week of school(ok tml last day)

does it even sound like school started?? lol

and its only the start of the sem

my course clique already thinking of going HK in august

i really really hope we will go this time. dont let it be another empty plan again please

anw i just never mention the lectures that i attended la

my actual timetable with tutorials is very packed

7 modules this sem. all cores. but 2 are non-examinable though

imagine average 25hrs of lessons a week. haix............

so fun lo this week. i never enjoy "school" that much before

but good things come and go fast

time to get serious next week

seriously maths modules are always a killer

should take a look at my notes. they are alien to me

nothing goes into my brain at all

maths is supposed to be fun. isnt it? =(

oh 15th is my brother's bday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!! belated present =P

FTT next sat. i havent study for it

somemore reading about what clutch and gear stuff without actual praticing

i dont understand them!!

so gonna fail my FTT....

2010-01-09T00:52:00.002+08:00

went to my first 21st chalet party this year just now
my current roomie's one..
mm considering if i should have one too
but to think about the awkwardness because you cant entertain every group
and some friends might get bored
i think just forget it =x

something i wanna say is im very happy that we have full attendance
for clique gathering yesterday!
for like the first time in many months or even 1 2 years we have all 8people
this is something we should celebrate hahaha

badminton's out for IHG. left squash which alright im not very into it
was very disappointed and upset when we lost our crucial match
and its probably the last time i got to play competitive badminton
too bad it was a bad finish again
its like not that you are lousier than your opponents
just that somehow it isnt your day you are off-formed
this feeling is so familiar. you know like a thorn in your heart
aiya very hard to explain unless you go through it before
the disappointment will go off very soon la
but somehow even after a few years you will still feel
"aiya why didnt i play better? if only etc.."
ok nvm. hopefully there will still be more chance to play=)

alamak January only need to prepare 4 21st presents and my brother's one
and need to buy textbooks
pocket empty!!

can i play mahjong at least once every week?
im really addicted to it seriously
i want a mj set and table!!
but my house is off for mj need a mj set for what

2 more days to school reopen. most sianx thing is i have tuition tml morning
if not because i cancelled tuition last week
i would have cancel tml's one and stay over at the chalet to play mj lo haix..

actually im not really very sad or sianx that school is starting
because the holiday is getting kinda "boring"
i dont really enjoy a holiday with just purely playing and slacking
i prefer work play and slack
ya you never read wrongly-- work!
but of cause not office job please. not 9 to 5 and 5days work week
i prefer retail or sails kinda working schedule
like what i did last holiday the sell educational dvd one
maybe work for 3 4 days a week and play/rest the rest
work and stand for 12hours a day nvm la. as long as fun will do
ok im gonna cherish my last sem in hall
and cherish not having to travel=)

2010-01-05T16:15:00.003+08:00

ehh dont be surprised... yes its him.. YunHo

i was being "forced" to know more about him

as you know playing mj with this group of friends of mine

always feels like im in the korea entertainment industry

last time they only talk about DBSK SS501

now what F.T Island. Big Bang. Super Junior. Shinee(sorry if i got the name wrong)

eh still got female groups which i cannot remember their names la

what "eyes something one" lol

then i always feel lost

so in order to catch up with them

i went to do alittle research on DBSK and SS501 to at least know their names

but i always got confused with their faces and names especially DBSK

i even asked my brother to help me see if this face is that face in another picture

then this guy 突然在我眼前亮一下 hahaha and its him YunHo

after which i went youtube to watch their MVs and his videos

to find out he is actually very cute and good looking

YEAH NOW I GOT SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT LIAO

hahahaha.. from so reluctant to alright he is the 2nd korean guy i am actually interested in

apart from the guy below im sure you might find him farmiliar

cause its not the first time i put up his picture

some recap: he WAS the first korean that i like

back in our secondary school times

he acted in Glass Shoe and he was the first person to make me cry watching drama

Soh Ji-Sup=)

but its been so long that i dont like him him anymore

mm actually i do find Baby of SS501 quite charming too

2010-01-03T02:04:00.002+08:00

had been lazy to blog about whats happening for the past 2 weeks
cause basically its nothing much but meeting up with friends
if not mahjong if not trainings if not slacking at home
but glad that i've finally met up Oceanx and mjc team
ok so hopefully its not too late to do some reflection and resolution now

2009 was a down > up year for me personally
ok i dont know how to do a reflection here.... -_-'''
alright just not a very good year for me
many things not going my way

now 2010 a brand new beginning
also a year which i will turn 21!! sorry for the reminder haha
mm hopefully things will be better
there are a list of things i wish to accomplish
eh for the more important ones:
-SERIOUSLY work harder academically wise
(i dont wanna rely on luck anymore)
-try to restore to healthier sleepy habit
-learn to 凡事都看开一点 and look on the bright side
-learn to move on from whatever unhappy stuff
-be a better and more responsible tutor
(cant believe i so 尽责 haha)
that should be about it. but why like so little only!!
ok i shoudnt be greedy. can accomplish one of them is good enough liao....

now for the less important but still important ones:
-"master" cantonese. at least be able to watch a hk drama without relying on subtitles
-go hk with my coursemates(or wherever. it better come true this time ah)
-i dont know how but pray that tph wins his first Best Actor Award
(alamak this should be his resolution not mine!!)
-keep fit. eat as usual but exercise more
-ok irony to that. eat a good quality buffet =P
-beat the 1 million points for Typing Maniac
-buy a new badminton racket
-improve my mahjong skills and dont keep ping hu-ing all the time liao
-OH YA GET MY DRIVING LICENCE!!!!
ok that's about it. this category sounds so fun and achievable and redundant =x

one more week to school reopen
actually this holiday is very enjoyable for me
eat so much. play so much. but never really sleep alot
so cannot ask for more la
left one more week. everybody lets enjoy!!

2009-12-23T03:51:00.004+08:00

i was fb-hopping and i happened to be on dai yang tian's fan club page
and i suddenly realise dai yang tian is so handsome!! =0
every photo of him is like omg
channel 8 replays Table Of Glory on weekends and wao he's just too good looking
sorry if you are not a fan of him or you just dont like him
im not his fan neither
but just for 眼福 lol!!
i think im beginning to like him =D
it wont last long. the most 2 weeks
walau hate myself for being so shallow -_-'''

i like this photo the best

this is cool too

this is cute

and i dont know what else to describe this but its just nice

p.s: i still love tph! going on strong and steady

given that i wake up early at 10.45am to watch his repeat show

even if i sleep at 6am the previous night

i went to your fb fan club page too and saw some nice photos of yours

though i saw some nice photos of yours but after some major struggle

i have to admit that dyt is really better looking than tph

(maybe i shouldnt compare it this way because tph is 15years older than dyt)

so i decided to give it a change this time round and put his photos

if not people will get bored that its always you you you

wait till i find photos of you when you were 24 k? =)

why does the above message sound like i 嫌弃and 抛弃 tph ah?

i repeat: tph is still my number 1 idol forever ever

and this will never change until the day he gets married

HAHAHAHAHAHA

seriously crazy leh me. probably not enough sleep

oi but im not done yet

if i die someday. somebody please tell him that a fan like me existed=D

2009-12-20T16:52:00.003+08:00

seems like my holiday "intensive lose weight plan" is not successful
from 8th to 18th dec. i ate 5 times of jap food
and 2 times Waraku and 3 times Ichiban
jap food is ever delicious but so many times in less than 2 weeks
sounds so boring ah
before exams gained 3kg. now havent even start losing that 3kg
i think i gain more. dont even dare to weigh myself
whats the cereal that allows you to lose weight ah??
i think it starts with K

and then for the past week i watched another 2 movies
2012(ok i know its kinda late) and Avatar
Avatar is a good movie
i watched it on the first day and sat in the first row from the FRONT
walau tell you the screen is bloody near my face
and for the whole 2.5hrs our heads and eyes were like wth
i feel kinda wasted cause the graphic is really good
but we sat too near so sometimes when they fight we cant even see who fight who la
if not for the bad seats i would have rated the show 8/10
why do they even have such front seats in the first place=x

and then there was prawning with uni friends
so fun. but we only caught slightly over 10 prawns in 3 hrs
somemore we had 2 rods....
all noods btw. we should aim 20 the next time!!
oh ya! and K with both roomies and ex neighbour at $10KTV
(sorry ys!! hahaha needa call another person roomie this time)
and of cause shopping with mummy!

now i finished watching 宫心计. feel so lost and sianx...
i dont like the after feeling of finishing a drama
especially if its a good show
do watch this drama if you can find. in canto of cause
though sometimes i dont understand wth they talking about
especially when they talk about 国家大事
but you get to see how people betray each other in order to fight for survival in the palace
and how the evils plan scheming plots
wao i feel like rewatching liao
ok my brother asked me to watch Hi My Sweetheart
since i got nothing to do i just yi si yi si watch abit
he loves taiwan idol drama -_-'''

2009-12-14T11:17:00.002+08:00

omg freak. why cant i even fall asleep even when its HOLIDAY!!
there was course registration at 9.30am just now and
i was supposed to go NUS for friendly match at 11.15am
i went to sleep at 10.30pm last night then dont know why woke up at 12.30am
then after that till like 8am i totally cannot sleep at all
so i decided might as well dont sleep and drink redbull
but now i cannot take it anymore. the redbull doest seems to work
dont wanna faint playing badminton later. so im not going..

the past few days was busy. but FUN=)
watched New Moon with my forever ROOMIE and ex neighbours on tues
(Oi ys see that? hahaha) and kinda a mini bday celebration for her
alright the movie sucks almost to the max
played overnight mahjong in hall on wed
havent played mj for such a long long time. and im addicted to it again
anybody wants to play mj can jio me=)
then training on thurs and another mini bday celebration for ys with Clique at night
then met up with mzqr on fri and watched Feng Yun 2
also another disappointing movie=(
but aaron kwok is sooooooo charming
then sat was Felicity gathering and we went Helipad after dinner
Helipad is a cool place. tasted different combinations of alcohol
now i officially declare i hate any alcohol mix with GREEN TEA
it reminds me of the night i got drunk=x
and when i thought i could rest at home and watch my hk drama ytd
my cousins suddenly asked us to help him do 手工 (paperwork)
samsung brouches.. he's gonna bring in 15000 pieces for us to do today
15000 haix..........
is there like K later?? i wanna sleep peacefully!!!!

suprisingly i could get all the 7modules with just one attempt
unlike last sem i got NONE the first try
then i had to play mj and register my courses at the same time
i still remember playing halfway and my friend kept calling to tell me
what what mod has vacancy ask me hurry up
then mj khakis were alittle pissed haha
they should revise the fastest finger first system in ntu
just late for 1 2 seconds can make ALOT of difference
you could end up with up a totally different timetable from your planned one

alright i better sleep now